Today as part of Talk To Me Tuesday series, I wanted to talk about scarring. A long time ago I got two very visible scars on my face, one right above the corner of my left eye, and another one above, that goes across my left temple and over the eyebrow. After hearing countless nags from my grandmas that girls shouldn’t have scars or nobody would ever marry them, I became emotionally scarred too, and since then hated having my pictures taken. I also became a huge tomboy, because I felt like I was already damaged goods. That phase lasted almost a decade.
I hated that every single guy I went out with felt the need to ask me about my scars, so I started giving ridiculous replies to change the conversation, like mauled by chupacabra or fell asleep on a fork. For those who asked again, a second date was never an option.
Eventually I got interested in skincare, and that’s when I started looking for treatment solutions. I also started using sunscreen religiously, because it was necessary to prevent the scars from turning red or brown. I feel like it helped, but I may still need to consider a more invasive procedure some time in the distant future [if it still bothers me then of course].
Now, many years later, I’m still conscious of these scars, but I’m finally feeling comfortable having my pictures taken, and also sharing more selfies on the Glamorable! My husband always told me that nobody even notices them unless I point it out, or if the light hits my face at a certain angle. I guess after 12 years together his words finally sank in, because as you might have noticed, I’m adding a lot more selfies to product reviews, showcasing the way they look on the skin. Prior to 2014, you’d be lucky to find one or two, and now they’re almost in every makeup review post. I guess they didn’t lie that a big smile and lots of confidence are the best makeup, even though sometimes I just have to fake it 🙂
You know, I haven’t posted in a long time but I had to comment after reading your touching story. Fact is, I would have NEVER noticed the scars until you pointed them out. Sadly, the words of well-intentioned relatives can scar far more than the actual scars.
For example (And even worse!) my father told me in very vulgar terms that unless I maintained my virginity, no one would want to marry me. Thank God I had enough sense to inwardly call BS on that admonishment. But it makes me a little angry because I could have been deeply scarred by that comment!
There were many comments leveled my way that have scarred me. Like you, there’s a process of claiming victory over emotional and spiritual scars. But it’s possible! By the way, my left foot was disfigured after I broke it at 11 yrs old. I burned the same foot with cooking oil when I was 14. Now, the foot’s bone is a bit out of place and I can still see the mottled skin color where I burned my foot. But I don’t care! And none of my lovers noticed or cared, either. 😉
Hi Terrah — Thank you for sharing your story, I’m very sorry to hear about your foot. That must have been a terrible experience, and not once but twice! I’m glad that you are okay now, I’m slowly getting over my issues too. The emotional scars are the deepest ones, after all. Wish I was smarter and didn’t listen to my grandmas when they were talking about those scars, but nothing we can do now, what’s done is done, and it shaped me into the person I am today. The most important part is that my husband likes the way I look, so what I think of myself is totally irrelevant 🙂
I’ve always thought that your pictures look so perfect. I never noticed your scars until you just pointed them out. You’re absolutely right that “a big smile and lots of confidence are the best makeup” and I think that sometimes we all just have to fake it.
Hi Jen — Thank you for the kind words and for the encouragement! 🙂 I never thought I was anywhere close to perfect, so I’m slowly learning to love myself the way I am through the eyes of the people who see the beauty in me. I’m sure I’ll get there some day!
I have a sizeable scar right in the middle of my forehead, from falling out of bed as a kid and having to get several stitches. I don’t see it myself most of the time, and I’m not sure anyone has asked me about it in a long time. But I remember being confused when someone asked me about it when I was younger, and it took me a moment to remember what they were asking about. But then good old family always helps…my brother commented during a visit that it looked more noticeable. And my mom called out a mole I’ve grown in near my eyebrow. And they wonder why I don’t like to talk to them!! LOL
I did notice it again recently after doing a lot of exfoliation. I keep meaning to go to a dermatologist.
I know how you feel…and I’ll say the same as the others, that I’ve never noticed yours… 🙂
Hi Arathael — I know, right? When people kept asking about it, I always just wanted to hide it somehow so I’ll get less questions in the future. I used to wear either sideswept bangs or a face-framing fringe for the longest time 🙂 Those hairstyles actually looked pretty cute on me, but I hated the upkeep, especially the fringe.
Thank you for sharing your story, I wish family members would be more sensible 🙂 I swear, sometimes they just say things that would otherwise be considered bad manners, if they were talking to a stranger like that.
Mine is not really a scar, but it’s a yellow/brown birthmark by my left eye. It looks like a fading bruise and I get a lot of questions about it, like if I am ‘ok in my situation’ at home! If I have on glasses and/or a lot of make up no one sees it, but if I am in contacts and/or have lighter make up on I get questions all day, even from people who have known me a long time and should have seen it. I get frustrated because they always imply that something bad happened to me and I am trying to hide it with a story. No, just a poorly placed birthmark on my face, thanks!
Hi Sara — Eek, that must be tough for you, especially when other people start suspecting your spouse 🙁 Luckily, the right concealer can make your birthmark look less noticeable, but it’s too bad that you will still get those looks if you feel like wearing lighter makeup. People can be so rude without even realizing it.
Hi
I fell off my bike 2 weeks ago and have a very obvious nasty red scar on my chin with loss of normal contour… 🙁